Experiencing God's love
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 02:57AM How can what I am experiencing be considered an "abundant life"?
As I have written and posted blog entries over the past several months I realize that it has been sort of an invitation into my life and the lives of my family members. My motivation for the material used and the topics discussed was always intended for some sort of blessing, lesson, or idea to provoke thought and possibly inspiration towards all things spiritual in the lives of the readers. You may have noticed that I haven't written in quite a while and those times have been few and far between since the time of our relocating to Anderson, SC. Life now is different, to say the least. I am different. My wife is different. Our children are different.
This morning I have been quiet. I have said very little. My mind has been flooded with thought, worry, concern, and wondering. My emotions are raw. I have a pain in my chest that is the result of a broken heart like I have never experienced.
I stopped typing and decided to not post because I didn't know if I wanted any questions and I certainly didn't want to explain. I just needed to write. It's my outlet...my release. And during the week when we set aside a day to celebrate all that we are thankful for, I felt as if my life had spun completely out of control. I really wondered if God had forgotten me. I wanted to know what I had done (or not done) to deserve the wrath I had been feeling.
But something happened later in the week that blew my mind. I have prayed and prayed until I didn't really know how to pray any longer. I had reached the point where I didn't want to pray any longer. And what I experienced was nothing short of God intervening and supernaturally blessing my family.
I cannot go into details at this time but I want to share a simple truth about God. In Genesis 22, Abraham experienced the provision of Jehovah-jireh ("God will provide"). Abraham experienced God's perfectly-timed provision of a sacrificial lamb to take the place of Isaac, Abraham's son who was to be sacrificed. Jehovah-jireh has provided blessings for my family in a time when I wondered if He was even aware of my circumstances.
Please know this: God knows every circumstance in your life! God cares deeply about you! When you think He is nowhere to be found in the midst of trouble -- know that He is working on something that you will see soon! Know that the blessings that are on the way are so much better when they are dispensed in His time and in His way!
God is good and He loves you! Be patient and wait on Him!!
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How do you deal with waiting on God?
Friday, October 10, 2008 at 02:04AM I have since repented and have been forgiven for my pity party.
A good friend and I were talking the other night about life and circumstances. Honestly, we were lamenting our messes and mistakes and, at the same time, thanking God that we have each other to share our hurts and sorrows. It seems that each of us has recently struggled with the same question, "Why?". Human nature makes us do that. When life is overwhelming, our flesh has a hard time reconciling the pain with the fact that we belong to a loving God who hurts when we hurt and who knows what every pain we have feels like. But we still want to know why.
At this point you may be expecting a profound spiritual revelation that has helped me and my friend deal with our circumstances -- but I don't know what to say. I have not lost my faith, but I have been close. I still know that God is there and that He loves me. I know that God has a plan that is beyond my ability to comprehend right now. And I know that He has not given up on me.
I told another friend last week that I have been learning to worship God while I wait on Him (not an easy thing for me, and maybe you too). I am learning that no matter what I go through in this life, God is worthy of my worship and my praise. When you and I hold out on Him because of feeling self-pity, the only ones who suffer are you and me.
Make a commitment to worship God while you wait on God. Maybe He wants to see if we really understand who He is before He shows us something new.
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I'm a slacker, I know it
Monday, September 8, 2008 at 08:01PM Blogging, I'm sorry to say, has taken a back seat to everything else that has been going on in my life over the past couple of weeks, even though I've gotten a few posts in here and there. For those of you who read this site on a regular basis, I apologize for seeming slack.
Tonight's post is simple and to the point. Many of you have asked about Mom and have been so concerned for her and our family. You may never know what you have meant to me as we deal with new things almost daily. Knowing that you are there thinking of us and praying for us is indeed a blessing that I know is from God.
Mom had her first appointment with the oncologist today. Mom, dad, my sister-in-law, and I were all there to hear what the doctor had to say. As we waited for him to come into the room there was an obvious anxiety as we all feared the unknown. After all the introductions and explanations of why we all were in attendance, the doctor began asking a series of questions to my mother, obviously sorting the first pieces of the puzzle that will soon show us the degree of seriousness of this cancer. Each question, however, was answered in a way that gave us much hope. No pain here, no swelling there. Then, after a brief examination of some lymph node areas he seemed VERY optimistic about Mom's prognosis. Of course, further tests this week will give us the entire picture.
Pray for Mom as she will undergo a bone marrow test on Wednesday and several others tomorrow and Thursday. God is good! There is no doubt about that. My mother is trusting Him completely as she goes through this. She is indeed a testimony of the strength and peace that only God can give.
Why change?
Thursday, September 4, 2008 at 04:30PM Tradition is not necessarily a bad thing. As a matter of fact, there are certain traditions that, if thrown out, take away some of the emotion that accompanies a good kind of pride. For instance, I am a graduate of T.L. Hanna High School in Anderson, SC, home of the Yellow Jackets and Radio. Up until sometime in the mid 1990's the football helmets were solid gold like Notre Dame. The pride that went along with the traditional gold helmets was strong. It made young boys dream of playing one day and strapping up those gold helmets and then counting the different colored marks on them after a game. This meant that you were a hard hitter. As Susan and I registered our daughters at Hanna on Tuesday, I walked by a trophy case and noticed one of the new helmets, which is black with an "H" on each side. I had seen this before but when I saw it I was crushed once again.
There is another example of tradition being thrown out at T.L. Hanna that is upsetting. If you were a lettering athlete "back in the day", the booster club would come to your house and, using a large stencil, paint a yellow jacket on your driveway. Again, this tradition was one that served to create that "Hanna Pride" in the athletes. Today, as upsetting as it is, anyone who pays money to support the booster club can get a yellow jacket painted on their driveway, thus cheapening the whole idea. It's the same thing as giving trophies to a team of church-league basketball players just for showing up and being on the team. It doesn't matter that they came in last place. "Let's make everybody feel good and think that the world is a fair place to live and that competition is not a part of life".
The traditions that I have mentioned were never bad because they had a purpose. The purpose was to create winners. All High School athletic programs want and need winners. It's a never-ending cycle of life and there is nothing wrong with it because it teaches toughness in a world that desires to chew us up and spit us out.
But there are those traditions of churches that served a purpose for a season but the churches refuse to let them go because of the same reason as mentioned above - PRIDE. "Being true to your school" and working to build the kingdom of God are two totally different issues. Keeping with tradition to maintain a legacy of a High School and trying to remember how it felt when YOU were moved by God's Holy Spirit have nothing to do with each other. But churches are holding on to traditions that have no value today because these traditions are not being used with a goal in mind. The only goal, it seems, in many cases is to make us feel good. I find it interesting that those who hold to tradition the most, thus making themselves feel good, are the same ones who criticize new methods in the church and say these are "feel good churches". Interesting paradox.
Why change? As I have said before, there are way too many people dying without Christ to feel good in our traditions that aren't working! Be honest with yourself -- what traditions are you stuck with that are producing no "Kingdom" results? Are you willing to try something new? It doesn't mean that you are forcing God to change because He doesn't change. The vision God has given me is still there. We may not be planting a church but there is the passion to minister. Doors are opening and I can't wait to share with you all. As far as vision, I love how The Message expresses Proverbs 29:18 --
they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals,
they are most blessed."
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Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes
Tuesday, September 2, 2008 at 09:01AM If you read this blog at all, you have most likely realized by now that music shapes my thinking in many ways. It has always been a big part of my life, maybe because from childhood, music was always playing in my house. I can vividly remember summers when my brother and I would run in and out of the house, mom yelling at us to "stay in or stay out!" because the GBD flies would almost take over (only certain people will understand the "GBD"). We were surround on three sides by cows and horses and they make deposits, you know. But as we came in the house mom would most likely be listening to The Carpenters on the big RCA stereo/turntable. Yes, today it is still a guilty pleasure to listen to the smooth tonal quality of Karen Carpenter and be taken back to a time when life was simple. Ok, I realize you are making fun of me right now but I don't care.
Another voice from the past is that of Jimmy Buffett. Not as smooth as Karen Carpenter, but just as worthy of memories of days gone by. One particular song of Buffett's, "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes", affects me quite differently when I hear it today than twenty years ago. It's not all of the song has meaning, just the title. As Susan and I have "changed our latitude" and moved slightly north to Anderson, I have no doubt that we will also experience a "change in attitude". Life is different here. The pace is a little slower. The traffic is definitely not as crazy. But as we begin to assess all that we have been through over the past twelve years of being away, with a short one and a half year return in the middle, we are inclined to take inventory of the lessons learned while being away.
Many have already asked, "What about WellSpring Church?". My answer to that is we began feeling a stirring and a movement in our spirit's about a month ago. Of course, we didn't know what God was up to and we still don't. But we felt certain, for many reasons, that coming home was right. A very close friend who lost his mom to cancer four years ago told me, "The only thing I regret looking back to the time when mom was sick was that I didn't make more trips to see her. Now that you are moving back, at least you won't know what it's like to experience that same regret". It is this kind of comment that means the most because it is one of encouragement. When it's a parents' life, you don't need another reason. I very comfortable with that mindset.
My attitude about engaging and leveraging the culture for Jesus Christ has not changed, however. There are still way too many people who have no interest in the things of God to let that passion die. God gave me that passion and I will follow it relentlessly. I am not expressing an argumentative attitude about this but it's something I believe in with all of my being. Anderson, SC has many needs just as Summerville and North Charleston. But way too many obstacles were in the lowcountry for us to be effective. I know that many who read this will think that is a cop out but we had seen and experienced a reality that many will never experience. For this reason, many cannot understand what we I mean when I speak of obstacles.
Susan and I are sincerely grateful to the many who helped us in so many ways. Yes, our latitude has changed and becasue of that we will miss you all. Our attitude has changed because we have a different view of the importance of family. This is life. Things change. There is a piece of artwork that I have seen many times that simply states, "Live Laugh Love". This has new meaning today. And, as Jimmy Buffett sang, "...if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane".
Whoever you are, wherever you are..."live, laugh, and love" with those who are closest to you. I think it is one way God helps us deal with this "insane" life.